Advisor - Counselor - Consultant

Setting Boundaries in Dating

Dating is supposed to be fun. It’s supposed to be exciting. It should be filled with great exploration and discovery of getting to know another person who just may be the ‘one’. That is what it ‘should’ be; although for many it isn’t.

Times have changed; dating has changed- and Covid hasn’t helped.  It’s trickier than ever before. Where does one go to meet someone? What if the person is vaccinated; does that change things? And is there still a 3-day waiting period to call her after a date? All of these things are things that each person must navigate through and through it all a few thought through boundaries will help. Each boundary set will serve as a standard for respect and protect you  while you are exploring this new person in your life.

1-      Save sex for marriage. Sure yes many today believe that sex by the 3rd date is a norm; and for the world it may be.  The thing is; you are worth more than settling for the low standards of the world. Getting to know someone and deciding a course for a healthy and lasting marriage is one that takes time; and you are worth the wait. Those not seeing your value aren’t worth your investment. Marriage is still a covenant and studies still continue to show that married couples have not only more sex; but better. Why not find out first?!

2-      Text boundaries. Boundaries in the beginning of any relationship determines the health of it. Do you have any boundaries for your phone? Perhaps it’s time. This is tricky in today’s society in that many sleep with their phone next to them and they are available simply because the phone rang. Why? Just because someone called or texted means nothing more than this. When someone new enters into your life giving that person free reign over all of your life will bring forth expectations of that rule to continue. You must know your boundaries, set them and keep them. New boyfriends/girlfriends require training just like puppies; as cute as they all are.

3-      Keep things public. Meeting someone at a public place is prudent and keeps you more protected. It’s wise to continue to meet not just once or twice publicly; but until you truly feel comfortable allowing someone to have your address. Now know that even meeting in a public place doesn’t always guarantee protection. Years ago I went out with someone quite a few times in a public setting and visited his business. One night after dinner I went with him to his office where he told me he needed to go the bathroom to masturbate. Needless to say that was a first- and last! I made sure from that moment forward I had new protocols in place.

4-      Rule out Rudeness. A great test for someone you are dating is to watch that person’s behavior toward other people. Is the person impatient to wait staff? Rude to valet? How the person you are with reveals much about character and that behavior will impact you. Your reputation and shadow will always follow you and being with rude people will always linger. While the person may not be aware of such behavior; patterns identify themselves. Pay attention to them.

7-      Know what you deserve. Dating yes can be like an extensive job interview; although know what you want. Know what you deserve. Do not settle because you are this age or that age. You are the age that you are and worthy of getting what you want. Do not give your life to settling as that time may be the time that the person worthy of you may be passing by.

Any new relationship brings forth excitement and hope for the future. It’s fresh like a beautiful spring day. It’s worth entering into with a great attitude, open mind; and protected heart. As you know your boundaries you will be setting yourself up for success in any relationship you enter; whether it does end in marital bliss or not.


Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Scroll to Top