So You Want to be a Wife?

Women are funny. Of course we are; and beautiful and sensual and wonderful. Oh- and sometimes a hot mess. We all know this so it’s not anything new but one thing women forget is how to be who they are.

I recently heard a story of a woman who is 28 and wants to be a wife. Nothing out of the ordinary there as many women want that.  The thing is; she hasn’t yet come to the realization that in order to be in position to get that future husband- she has to have something to offer.

You see; being in a marriage means that you are a partner. You are bringing something to the table. You are contributing to that person’s life as he will be to yours. If you are doing nothing to better yourself for that time when you are single; how can you expect to get to the status of being a wife? It would be like wanting a job in the fashion but flunking out of fashion design school.

If you are in position of wanting to be a wife here are a few things to consider and implement in your own life so that when you meet someone you won’t have to play catch up to get to being what you should have already been.

1- Get your own life. If you don’t have your own life then what you do have?  Men are attracted to women who are doing things, living, enjoying life. By having your own hobbies, friends; and interests you will have something to share. If you are lifeless what man would want to rush to the altar for that?  If you are doing nothing then what are you doing? What about you would be desirable? If you met someone doing nothing would you want to rush out and marry him? Probably not! Are you taking care of yourself? Do you still live at home and are late 20’s or 30’s? Perhaps it’s time to grow up as that man you want would want someone to take care of his household and if you can’t take of your own- how can you take care of his?

2- List what you have to offer to someone. It’s funny asking women what they want in a man as they can rattle off 1,000 things within 5 seconds but when asking women what they have to contribute it tends to get quiet with a shorter list.  You want to know what you are bringing to the table so should you meet a man or a few that aren’t appearing to be an equal partner in marriage; you will be able to see it and not lose time. If you have no clue what you are offering then how will you know if someone is a good match for you.  You see; it isn’t about begging him to just want you because you have long legs and are sweet. So is the next one who also has a job and owns her own home. It’s about you making sure he is a good match for you too. Think about what you have to offer and don’t sell yourself short. What do you have to contribute to his life that would make it better? If he is a good man he will also know what he has to contribute to making your life better; thus a partnership flourishes. If it’s one sided where you just want him to be your life then it can’t work.  When you know what you have to offer it will help you know your value and not get sidetracked by men who don’t pay their bills and wouldn’t be good providers.

3- Fix your financial issues. Your financial problems are yours. They are not that of the next man you want to marry because he may make a lot of money. Wouldn’t it be a shame to meet the wonderful man that you can picture yourself marrying only to hear him say that your financial choices reveal that you are not responsible enough to be a good wife to him? Sure you may get defensive and think you wouldn’t want him anyway; however, if you were in proper financial position you wouldn’t think so. It isn’t about having debt or anything like this but rather how you manage it and the choices you make. When you are single is the time to be prepared so you don’t miss that opportunity.

4- Take care of yourself physically. Yes single women pay more for maintenance and upkeep then single men or married women; and if you don’t you may lose out on opportunities. It’s tough competing out there as there are a lot of quality single women. It is not about being vain but about being healthy. If you are doing nothing to take care of yourself; what does it reflect?  How many overweight men have you passed by who were probably catches but didn’t appear to be so? You would hate to be passed by for those same reasons.

5. Lose the emotional baggage. Carrying around all the extra baggage from your ex is a waste of time. He is not around and you complaining about his tacky ways only makes you tacky.  Everyone has a past but that doesn’t mean it needs to be the carry on. It’s the past for a reason. If you are not yet over him; then take the appropriate steps so that you can be free to run toward your future.

Getting to the status of being a wife means you are in proper position to being a girlfriend first. Having your life in order and knowing who you are, what you enjoy; and where you are going will only make your that much more attractive. You don’t have to be a Victoria’s Secret model by any means but rather just a healthy you moving in a direction of life that you want to make for yourself.  Take your steps to move your life forward and you will be amazed as to who will come across that your path.