Forgiveness is the one thing that changes more than the person who forgives. It changes the people are them too. While forgiveness is for us as individuals, on a collective scale it has more impact that we could possible think. Of course forgiveness changes you but forgiveness of mothers changes them, it changes families, communities, regions, states and nations. Change a nation and you can change the world. And it starts with changing you.
When I had to forgive my mom it wasn’t easy. I hated her. I wanted to be nothing like her and I certainly didn’t want to look like her. I loathed her. She abandoned me and left me for not-so I thought. I was angry that of all the mothers in the world; God chose her as my mother. Seriously? Yeah God sure has a sense of humor and one I certainly didn’t like! Just saying.
Once I forgave her though I started to see things different. While it was a rather lengthy process; I had to stay the course. I had to and so do you. You see my mom is sly; don’t let the walker and nursing home fool you. She lived on the streets for quite some time and she knew how handle things. She knew how to play people. She has street smarts all the while lacking in other areas just like the rest of us. She was doing what she knew; which is what most moms do. They do what they know. And I had to continue to forgive her for all those things that she did because 1) the Bible commands it, 2) the Bible commands it. We are commanded to forgive and to honor our mother and father. Yeah; I looked for clauses and exceptions on that one. Trust me. I didn’t like that whenever she lied to me I had to forgive. When she manipulated me for something I had to forgive. When she committed to move to Dallas from Houston and then changed her mind the day before leaving me with the entire bill I had to forgive. I was the victim all over again; and yet I was required to forgive. Figure that one out. But here’s the thing: things changed.
I started to change. I could have been bitter and resentful; that would have been easy. But that is the lie of the enemy! As I I started to see how my forgiveness was not only softening me I saw it softening her her too. She started to ask questions. She started to care. She asked things like, ‘why are you so nice to me’ which I must say I cried about. (she doesn’t know that though) She stopped being so contrary and screaming at the top of her lungs at me. She actually got out of bed to go the mess hall for breakfast. Then lunch. Finally; dinner. And now; she delivers the mail at the nursing home. She plays bingo. She goes to lunch with the women she used to judge and hate. She attends Bible study. She has a life and for the very first time. Praise God! And when I say praise God I mean that because it’s His Word that rings true every time! We just have to get in alignment with it.
Now I get that your mother is nothing like my mom; praise God! All mothers are different yet still the same. They each have their own journeys, faults, ways of giving and loving, hurts and regrets; and futures to look forward to. It’s when we recognize this then we can get ourselves in position to forgive. We can then be in position to love. And isn’t that just what Jesus has done for us? He met us right where we were and right where we are so that He can do a new thing in our lives? And so when we meet mothers right where they are we can do a new thing in their lives. And let me tell you from personal experience; it’s beautiful. And so is she. My best guess is that your mom is too; you just have to uncover you to let her shine.