Forgiveness Before Dating

Single people are funny. They just are. Married people are too but not in the way single people are. Single people want to be married yet in order to even get to the status of dating someone that person must meet their criteria list of 1,000 items that simply are not attainable all the while not recognizing that that in itself could be the hindrance.  Oh- you have too many stubbles on your face- can’t do that. Nope. It’s not like he couldn’t just shave right ladies? Oh no- too much fat on her thighs; next.

If you are single and want to date and then marry someone are you living with too many expectations of that person you don’t even know? Have you placed so many perimeters on the person that regardless of what changes may occur in that person you have just disregarded him or her? I can tell you from experience- stop. Just stop now. Forgive yourself for thinking that someone else is going to be just like you and that you are so much better than all the others because quite frankly; everyone who is single is really in the same boat. Forgive yourself for falling into the trap and being let down. Forgive the process of dating and what it has done to you. Forgive those who have become before you in the past that played a great game and then left you. Forgive it all for you want to be completely free to love when God brings that right person; should you let Him.

See; when we get caught up in the list of things that a person must have we forget the essence of the person.  Don’t you want someone who will love you for who you are- then why would you not get yourself in position to do the same? If you were to be handed your list of 1,000 by someone wanting to date you and said this is what you must have how offended would you be? How many items on the list do you truly believe you would meet? This is where  the world and Word have it more than opposite. The world says ‘if you can’t be with the one you love then love the one you’re with’ all the while the Word tells us that ‘but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.’ Isa 40:31. If you claim to be a Believer and then settle for whatever next person has a job and hair it reveals more about you than the God you serve. He is bigger and better than a less option.

You can’t be the ‘I want you to love me just the way I am; muffin top and all- but honey before I love you I need to see a bigger chest and a six-pack’ and expect that will garner you anything of quality. But it’s what the world tells us. Pick any dating site and you will see how easy it is to live in the world of BBD: Bigger Better Deal. It’s all outward appearance based and if you don’t pass the looks test you just aren’t good enough. What a lie that is! We have come to treat people as disposable as a 6 month old cell phone. And everyone is worth more than that!

Now If you want to date someone just like you go date yourself. Period. You will have a ball and no one to argue with or blame when it doesn’t work out. What a perfect life of bliss you will enjoy all by yourself. You will get everything you want right?  Have fun in the nursing home!

On the other hand; if you actually want to branch out and meet and date that wonderful person open your mind. Go to God ‘first’. It isn’t about the 1,000 criteria list but rather letting the God who has counted the hairs on your head be your matchmaker. It is about you seeing you the way He sees you to give you whom you are worthy of; and who is worthy of you. Dating doesn’t do that. It leaves people more unforgiving because each wrong person who comes across your path leaves a mark.

Recognize that while that person isn’t 6’1? that 6’0? is ok; especially if either height is still taller than you are. Open your mind to see that while someone may not be where ‘you’ think he or she should be; perhaps that person was just waiting for you to go on that journey there with you. Maybe you are the one God would use to bless that person to become exactly what you have prayed for. Forgive yourself for denying God the right to be God and do what only He can. Open your mind that relationships are a journey and when you don’t see that you miss what it’s about. When you have lost the weight of unforgiveness what you see in others will change. And isn’t it about time for change?

Forgive yourself for being so closed minded because the last thing you would want to do is spend your life judging everyone for not being what you think when in reality; all those people you judged found someone wonderful and left you standing alone. God has the answer. He just does. Sure it may not be when ‘you’ want but so what? It simply means that the process isn’t complete yet for you to have His best. He loved you so much to give you free will; why not use that free will to forgive and allow Him to be your matchmaker and receive His best today. In the end you will be more blessed than you could ever imagine!

For more about forgiveness watch “Living in Forgiveness” on Saturdays in Dallas channels 27 & 47.2. NY & NY new channel 49.1 Stream live atwww.uanetwork.tvand watch previous episodes here: