As the world is celebrating and giving courage awards to Bruce Jenner for deciding to be a woman; there are some who are saddened for him. It’s been said that over the next few years he will make over 500 million as a woman. It’s more than all the other Kardashians combined. Still others are talking and sharing his instagram pictures; and now it’s gone from Bruce being the all American Olympic gold winner to that of a hero in a new way in their eyes. The other Kardashian’s are all on board; supporting Bruce call me Caitlyn and everything with it. Everyone that is; except Kris. Regardless of your thoughts about it; she is the one that has been missing through most of this. The silent one that seems forgotten.
If you pay close attention look at the bigger picture. A woman married to her husband for 23 years; who carried a secret. A secret that has to forever change the life of the now ex-wife. A secret that would have anyone pausing to ask more questions than we may first think. “Why? How did I not know? Who knew? Why didn’t anyone tell me? Why wouldn’t he tell me? How long was this the plan? Was I just that big of a fool to not see it? Was my entire marriage a sham? Now what? Why would he do this to me? To our family? What did I do to deserve this? Does he hate me that much? How did I not know? What were the signs?” And I’m sure there are many many more questions for ponder and consideration.
If you are married reflect on the time when you first met; then how you grew together as a couple. Then ask yourself: ‘was it real? Is what we have today real? Then reflect on your wedding day; the first night of marriage, the honeymoon. Fast forward to the birth of your first child; then the second, and if you are the Duggers- the 19th. ‘Was that all for cover?’ How about all the cherished moments. Were those real? Were the intimate times really genuine? Was your spouse really even thinking about you; or dreaming of being someone else while being with someone else?
I can’t imagine what it must be like to be married to someone for that long and then to learn that while married he had painted toenails; which is why he wore socks all the time. I can’t imagine what it must have been like to hear and read the reports where Bruce blamed her for the downfall of the marriage; when the Bible is clear that a wife is a reflection of her husband.
I’m can’t imagine what it must be like to look at the family pictures of a time with someone I loved dearly only to see that person living an entirely new life; all the while the one with me for those years was in some way a big lie. I can’t imagine the pain that must be hidden in the depths of the lies and deception. The layers and layers of lies and lies.
While Bruce has moved on to being called Caitlyn there is a woman left in the darkness to grieve. Not only did she lose her husband, but her friend and everything she believed to be real and true to that point. Now sure they were already divorced but it doesn’t change the fact that what once was is no longer. How does one forgive that? How does one forgive the man who lied for so many years and is now considered a ‘hero’? How does she forgive herself for not seeing it? And in some ways she may also be asking how did she not protect her children all those years ago? We may never know. It is her story after all; finally right?
And so it is with any marriage there are always stories among the stories. Which are true and which are lies are only in the beholder of the hearts of those in the stories. Regardless of their story or your story; there is an underline story. For now the larger one is all about Bruce call me Caitlyn yet let it be known there is still yet one more story; the one of the forgotten Kris. May one day her story be told and may it be one of pure forgiveness.