Dating and the “I” Factor

Dating is a time to get to know someone else. It’s a time for enjoying the company of someone and determining whether that person is someone you would want to learn more about and get to know.  The catch is that in our society of selfishness, self focusedness and selfies it’s become more difficult to get away of the ‘I’ focus. If you are the center of your world and have no pets, no kids and no plants; or anything besides yourself it’s a tough lesson to learn.  Some things that may cause you from getting past the first date may be some of the ‘I’ items that may be getting in your way. These include:

1- Focus too much on your education. Sure you went to Princeton but so what? What else is there?

2- Focus on all the places you have traveled to. It’s nice you have traveled the world but what does that have to do with the person listening?

3- Focus on all the name dropping of all the famous people you know. What does you knowing famous people have to do with anything?

4- Focus on the titles you have had in your career. Your title may only imply you are more interested in titles than developing who you are without them.

5- Focus on all the stuff you have collected and car you drive. It’s nice you have toys and shoes but what else is there beyond spending money on things that simply depreciate?

If you are out to meet someone else yet spend more time talking about yourself all it reveals is that you are:

1- Trying to prove something.

2- Bragging.

3- Egotistical

4- Insecure

5- Not interested in the person you are with or getting to know that person.

You see it’s one thing to share who you are but yet if you spend the entire time selling yourself as to why you are so wonderful yet forget to ask a single question about the person you are there to get to then what is there? How possible is it to get to know someone else if you only share how wonderful you are?  What really can you expect if you leave without knowing anything about the person you were just with?

It can be a challenge to get to know someone so just ask yourself how much of what you talk about is you focused compared on others focus? Getting away from what you think is going to sell you to simply sharing who you are will get you much further than you think.  I challenge you today to ask yourself, ‘Who am I?’ instead of ‘What am I?’  and go from there. I’m curious to know that beyond what you have. Aren’t you?