Ashley Madison: Who do You Forgive?

The hack of Ashley Madison may be a surprise to many; although it really shouldn’t be. The Bible clearly states in Ephesians 5:13, “But their evil intentions will be exposed when the light shines on them, But their evil intentions will be exposed when the light shines on them.” (NLV) What is the most shocking in my eyes is the fact that in the hack there are only 3 zip codes in the US that didn’t reveal any accounts. So unless you live in  small towns in Alaska or New Mexico you can guess it’s in your zip code and may even be your neighbor. It then begs the question: who do you forgive?

Many are angry with the hackers but for what reason? The hack itself or the fact that they were found out? Do you start with forgiving the hacker? Perhaps the hacker may have just saved many marriages although there are more reports of more suicides as a result of this.  You obviously can’t hide any more; Josh Dugger knows this. He also publicly came out stating his issues with pornography and cheating which in reality; is none of anyone’s business but perhaps now he is free. The hacker freed him as the lies are bondage and sin will always be revealed. So do you forgive the hacker?

Others are angry with Ashley Madison and sure; it’s sad when someone places money and the wrecking of marriages and helps people do it one has to question. So is the company to be forgiven? And how do you do that knowing the intent was purely to harm people? See; just because Ashley Madison is in business doesn’t mean anything other than that. It simply proves a point that there is an industry; the affair industry I guess you call it but just because the business is open doesn’t mean you have to buy. McDonald’s is there too but guess what? It’s not good for me and neither is an affair offering company. So do you forgive? You have to.

And oh yes we can’t forget those that signed up for the accounts in the first place. This reveals obviously something more hidden within the hearts and minds of each man who made the choice. The men chose their own needs and through that selfishness revealed much about their intent to manipulate, deceive and cheat to satisfy themselves.  The question is what were you not getting at home that caused you to take that route? It must be something that you were missing. And what was the breakdown in your marriage that kept you from believing, thinking of feeling that you could talk about it with your wife? Gents; you must forgive yourself.  You must seek forgiveness. You must go before God for you were deceived. You acted upon what you say which is no different than Adam and Eve. Repent and do it quickly. Forgiveness is between you and the Lord and the lack of love given to your wife goes against God’s Word. If everything in your life is crumbling around you there is a reason. Honest lifestyles do not and cannot bring honest gains.  There is much repair to be done and my prayer is that you are able to forgive yourself and that as you seek forgiveness from God and your wife that forgiveness is granted. We need marriages to stay in tact in America!

Finally though let’s take a look at the wives too.  Sure yes the wives involved are victims so what do they need forgiveness for? Good question.  Let’s take a look. If a man is driven to cheat what is he getting that he isn’t getting at home? Appreciation, respect, sex, desire, affirmation, acceptance, love, intrigue, spontaneity, friendship, caring, attention; shall I go on. Now sure wives may first be on the defense in stating that they are working too, have the children and home to take care of and on it goes. But here is the thing: men want to be wanted.  It’s been said that one of the top reasons men watch and get addicted to pornography is because of what they hear: “I want you” so the need to be wanted and validated makes clear sense. If they are not getting that at home; the obviously are getting it elsewhere.  It is no different than women who cheat where they get love and affection that they don’t get at home. So wives; the blame is certainly not on you for the choices that he made although the question is: is there something you can improve upon that will enhance your marriage?  In what ways can you begin to change you to change your marriage? Simple as that.

Here in lies the next and probably bigger facet to all of this: marriages in America appear to have less meaning. Don’t forget that the enemy comes to kill, steal and destroy. Period.  We have got to get this message of forgiveness so that families are not torn apart quicker than they are. We must grasp that forgiveness starts with each of us and that none are immune. Family must be kept in tact as it’s clear there is a war to destroy it in every facet. And so what can you do to turn the heart of your spouse toward you and not from you? What act of forgiveness can you seek and give that will forever change you, your spouse, your family and obviously your country?

Finally, “Father in the name of Jesus I ask that you forgive every reader of their sins. I ask Lord that there is a movement of repentance and forgiveness within marriages. I ask Lord that marriages are saved through forgiveness and that as we know You can turn the worst of things to the best of things; that as people turn toward You that their marriages would be better than they were in the past.  I ask Lord that there is a softeness in heart and that hearts do not get bitter or hardened. I ask that there is comfort and peace while families are working through the issue of infidelity. I ask Lord that forgiveness blanket this country and that we stand united in the name of Jesus for the institution of marriage in the way You deem it in Your Word. I pray that children who are impacted are healed, I pray for restoration and reconciliation between mothers, fathers, in-laws, and children and that all families involved are able to move past what took place. I ask Lord that eyes and hearts turn toward the things of You, that there be open communication in marriages and that husbands and wives will respect and love one another in accordance with Your Word. I pray in the name of Jesus that honesty and integrity become the standards that we all live by and that the deception is no longer. And finally Lord; I pray for victory in marriages. I pray for futures for families standing together on Your Word without fail with healed hearts. I thank you for forgiveness and for what is to come. In Jesus Name. Amen.”