Historical Dating Do’s and Taboos

While society appears to be progressing in some ways; others are still as oppressive and objectifying as they always have been.  There has been a lot of buzz today about the dating ‘tips’ for women in 1938.  The first I found was in msn and everywhere else; as if we need more things for women to and do not do. Isn’t laundry, working, taking of the kids, looking beautiful everywhere she goes, managing the finances and working out enough? I guess not? We need a good reminder of what the proper dating tips were in case we forgot or are are out of line with our behavior. In case we are unable to get a date these apparently are good reminders. Never mind the fact that they are all directed toward women and what women should do. Never mind the fact that through numerous searches how men should treat women isn’t examined. Interesting.

How was dating in 1938? Well; my best guess is better than today. If I did know from first hand experience I would look beyond fabulous for my age!  Today there are more options and the click of a button allows men to just skip you like the car driving by. Yes of course women do the same so it’s fair game but the point is the behavior of society has changed. Let’s examine what the appropriate behaviors for women were in the 1930’s.

Ladies listen up as you may learn something; or just get irritated but I digress:

1-Careless women never appeal to gentlemen. Who wants to take that home to mom? Careless I’m sure in the 1930’s may have meant something different; although there are I’m sure some similarities that can be useful. It’s only in the movies that the loose prostitute ends up with the wealthy man.

2- If you need a brassiere, wear one. Let’s just go with the fact you do. Done. Make it simple for the rest of the women out there and just wear one; or stay home.

3-Don’t be sentimental.” Don’t get him to be emotional and talk about his feelings.  Men don’t like tears; especially in public. Yes it’s just whatever the man wants because after all; he has to decide whether or not he likes you. Never mind the fact that you have a brain and the options to choose if he is worthy of you right? There is more about the history of where this not talking about stuff came from but that is for another time.

4- Don’t be familiar with your escort. Open affection is in bad taste. Interesting that men are considered the escort but when Heidi Fliess did it the tables were turned. Bottom line is don’t touch him. Forget those love languages folks! That means nothing. What if he touches you? Do you ignore him? Oh never mind we are only focused on what the woman are to do; how soon I forget.

5- Please and flatter your date by talking about the things he wants to talk about. In other words you are there for the purpose of him and his needs. You ladies have none. You are only there to be what he needs because you have no other purpose.  And then we wonder why the feminist movement is so strong? We can see that Jesus never treated women in such this manner to require this type of treatment. How far have we come that women are to just be interested in the existence of men; and possibly their football game?

6- Don’t be familiar with the headwaiter talking about the fun you had with someone else another time. Men desire, deserve your entire attention. Oh by the way; taking a lady to Hooters and then checking out the waitresses isn’t cool either. Your date desires and deserves your attention. Just saying.

7- Don’t drink too much, as a man expects you to keep your dignity all evening.  Drinking may make some women clever, but most get silly. Ladies don’t behave like this as they are a bit wiser than this. Wouldn’t this tie in to #1 with being careless? Perhaps it should be written gents don’t get your lady drunk in order to pull a fast one on her? How about that for a tip? Maybe?

8- Don’t sit in awkward positions and never look bored. Be alert and if you must chew gum, (not advised) do it silently, mouth closed. Then don’t talk about football! Pick something like hockey or Duke basketball; or firearms. This just reminds me of the some woman pandering the Dos Equis man just because he thinks he is interesting!  Never mind the fact that God created women with a brain right and that it takes brains to pretend to be interested. Women have been doing this for far too long without men even noticing; isn’t the ceiling beige after all?

9- Don’t talk while dancing. Ladies again; be quiet. What’s great though is the fact that men knew how to dance. How many today can say that? Yes I know you west coast swingers out there do but you are a small part of the population. Perhaps that should be a dating tip for men in current time: learn to dance. Put away the PS3 and learn some moves. Ladies; recognize he may want you silent because he has to concentrate on his steps. That counts for more than you realize!

10 – The last straw is to pass out from too much liquor. Chances are your date will never call you again. Well; after having to go through all that who would care if he called or not? It’s a lot of work just to sit there and be quiet!

As we can see that through the years there has been much expected of women. While some things on the list perhaps may be funny and outdated; when you look beyond the list it’s the expectation of women to be objectified and spend a lot of time and effort to be so. It still continues today it just costs women more than it used to.  Now it’s not to say all men do this to women as we know this isn’t true although it’s true of society in general.

Until we get above it all it will continue. My best bet is that you would rather be a woman with a good heart than one who may talk while dancing. My best bet men is that you would rather have a good woman who has a life and doesn’t live to listen to you just say your day was ‘fine’- every day. My best bet is that when both men and women have their hearts in the right place that the rules of behaviors won’t need to be written. The question is: will this ever happen?