Forgive our youth for what they do not know.
Forgive them for what think they not so.
Forgive them for their wandering ways.
Forgive for not working the days.
Forgive them for the entitlements they think
Forgive them living on the brink.
Forgive them for not wanting to work
Forgive them for expecting the perk
Forgive them for now knowing what they should
Forgive them for not doing more than they could.
Forgive them for growing up this way
Forgive yourself and celebrate the youth today.
Fathers are incredible men. They are leaders, providers, guides, teachers, comforters, supporters, CEO’s, caretakers, funny, serious, goofy, hard-working, strong, hairy, determined men who deserve much more than they have been given. Look around at the fathers you see and if yours isn’t what you think he should be; then forgive him and yourself for judging him because who are you?
See; without a father you would not even be here. Let’s get that straight. Yes we know it’s women who give birth because men cry when they get splinters. Bla Bla. But let’s face it; without men where would we be? The ‘Founding Fathers’ weren’t women now were they? Um….. don’t think so.
We need to stop pretending men don’t exist and that they are unnecessary. They are not! We all know women can bring home the bacon and fry in it a pan- all without men. And that proves what? The more we remove fathers the more we all suffer and aren’t you tired of suffering?
So now on this day to come we need to step up and thank fathers for being who they are. We need to also forgive them. Forgive them for what you ask?
1. Not stepping up as they should. Why? Because 43% of US children live without their father [US Department of Census]. Need I say more.
2. We need to forgive fathers for allowing women to take away their manhood. Yes that’s a tough one but do it anyway. Mothers; we also forgive you for thinking that it was your place to take away the manhood of a father; regardless of who or where he is.
3. We need to forgive fathers for not being there. Fatherless boys and girls are: twice as likely to drop out of high school; twice as likely to end up in jail; four times more likely to need help for emotional or behavioral problems. [US D.H.H.S. news release, March 26, 1999] Yes I am aware that the courts are more in favor of women, which is why fathers need forgiveness because that father may have tried his best and you just didn’t know it because you were too busy being unforgiving. Not only this; if your father died too soon forgive him. Yes it’s a tragedy without a doubt and your forgiveness is about your healing and your future.
4. We need to forgive our fathers for not being what we expect them to be. Every one of us has an image of what a father should be. When that father doesn’t measure up; we hold it against him. It’s not his fault he couldn’t measure up to something he didn’t know existed. Forgiveness will heal your heart and change that relationship.
5. Forgive yourself if you have a father you have not honored. You may not think you got all that you deserved from your father and you are probably right; but hey at least you have one. I know I have one since I am alive but I’ve never met him. I had to forgive that man for not even being around at any part of my life. Once I did; every single thing changed.
Fathers are wonderful men that need desperately to be celebrated. They need not be pushed into silent suffering any longer. On this Fathers’ Day truly reflect on the father you have, the father you are; and even the father you want to be. While he may not be perfect remember; you aren’t either but don’t let it stop you from trying.
I would like to know who created normal in society. What makes one person more normal than another? What’s the normal scale? Are you normal if you drive a BMW and like football? Or are you just normal because you are a uniquely created individual and because all of us are different we are all normal? If you have rejected yourself for not being what you thought you should be; forgive yourself. I went through it too.
You see; there is nothing normal about me. I had to get to a place of recognizing this and accepting it. Those that know me best know this. I lived in a foster home, adoptive home, numerous other homes and even a homeless shelter by age 15. That is not normal. I looked like a boy until 9th grade. I was asked out by girls who thought I was a boy. Not normal.
I’ve had dinner with the Detroit Red Wings and sat in owners box seats at the Stanley Cup finals even though I am not even a Red Wings fan. My former client list of professional athletes is not normal. I find that west coast swing dancing and scuba diving are two of the easiest things I have done. And that; apparently is not normal.
My normal is low maintenance but most don’t believe that. I wear skirts because I can’t find shorts that fit. I wear heels because flats hurt my feet. I really do only wash my hair every four day because I can’t be bothered to do it daily. It looks best on day 4. My norm is put together style in less than 30 minutes with bargain clothes as I don’t spend full price on anything. Why would I? I am not the norm. And you probably are not either so forgive yourself for trying to be.
I was beat up by my parents and bullied in high school. I learned how to fight and how to break noses in one simple move. That too is probably not normal. I was called a band fag for playing clarinet in marching band. I raced motorcycles and shot rifles as a kid. I dated the honor society and chess team boys in high school. That was not normal.
I’ve been given cars as gifts. That’s not normal. I’ve had more sets of parents and have suffered more loss than most ever will in their entire lives and that is not normal.
I even host a television show and there is nothing normal about that. I will drive a mile out of the way for a Pepsi because I don’t like Coke. I will not eat before I spend money on bad food and I actually love playing the game spoons. I love having people over to cook mass quantities of pasta with fresh ingredients from scratch. That’s not normal so I’ve been told.
My norm is my norm. I had to forgive society for trying to mold me into something I wasn’t. I had to forgive the church for trying to mold me into looking like what a Christian is supposed to look like. You know; quiet while wearing flats. I had to forgive myself for trying to be normal in a society that isn’t even normal itself. I had to forgive myself for not just celebrating me in the image I was created in. And if you haven’t yet done so; do it. You will find that you are more normal than anyone would ever honestly share with you.
Today marks the first day of the trial of the 15 crew members that were in charge of the ferry that sank in April killing more than 300 people; mostly children. It is a tragedy without a doubt that because of the selfishness of a few that so many people suffer. Captain Lee Joon-Seok and three senior crew are facing a maximum sentence of death. Two were charged with fleeing and abandoning ship that carries a maximum sentence of life in prison. Nine were charged with negligence, which can also carry jail terms. It’s something that will remembered for a lifetime.
When people experience tragedy like this impact is much more than we first think. The perpetrators suffer as they have to live with the consequences of their actions, the people who’s lives are lost are lost, and those who loved both the perpetrators and the victims all suffer. None are immune.
Sure it’s easy to say forgive. It’s easy to ‘say’ although hard to do. Unless you have lost someone in a tragedy you can’t possibly understand the magnitude of what comes with it. It may takes years to overcome loss as I know it did for me. It requires strength to not want to kill the perpetrator/s, it takes strength to just get out of bed; and it takes strength to see that there is a future. For many; it takes even more strength to forgive self or even God for allowing such things to happen in the first place.
While we may not fully grasp why people do what they do; what we can grasp is that each of us are accountable and responsible for our own actions. What someone does whether good or bad is on that person. How you receive it whether good or bad is on you too. There are many on this day shouting ‘murderer’ at the captain and while yes understandable; it doesn’t change the situation. In reality; it can make it worse because what is spoken has life given to it.
On this day I lift up all those families who have been victim to the carelessness of that crew in South Korea. I pray that their hearts begin to soften as they grieve. I speak no bitterness or unforgiveness that would kill the grieving families. I speak that they would one day be able to forgive not for the sake of anyone but rather for the sake of themselves. I pray that the crew one day recognizes that while they may be underserving that they come to a place of self forgiveness.
I speak that as we all come together in this world by triumph or tragedy that we not focus so much on what others have done to us; but rather on the power that each of us have to choose what we allow to enter our hearts.
I speak freedom and peace with a forgiving heart that recognizes that revenge and hatred does not solve problems; but rather forgiveness and love does.
Summertime is almost here and with it comes shopping for that perfect bathing suit; as if there is such a thing. None never really fit all of what a woman’s needs are. There are those that just let the fat hang out here and there while providing lopsided coverage for this and that. It’s just so treacherous it makes you want to just eat a hot fudge triple sundae with three scoops, two cherries, some caramel and brownie with nuts infused with espresso. And that is where we need forgiveness folks.
See; the fat trap is there for everyone to fall into. I say it’s a trap because well; it is. There is so much focus on this diet, that diet; this new seed and that new drink that it’s beyond confusing. You can try this and it may not work for you yet your best friend lost 30 lbs and you just want to call her *(&*&*( but you know that’s not nice. After all it’s not really her fault.
So what do you do? You forgive. Hugh? Yep. You forgive yourself for a myriad of things:
1- Forgive yourself for not being the size you used to be. None of us are.
2- Forgive yourself for comparing yourself to others. You never know what is going on with others so don’t let that trap you.
3- Forgive yourself for what you did to get yourself where you are. There isn’t much in society that will set you up for success. Forgive yourself so you don’t feel worse as that only gives you more problems in the end to overcome. Say it with me: ‘I forgive myself for what I have done to myself. I am triumphant and can overcome those brownies, pizza and sitting.’ You are a conqueror you just may need a little reminding is all.
4- Forgive yourself for not eating foods that are living that you can pronounce. Much of the fat trap comes from non-foods. Eat living foods and you will feel alive and live longer. It will change your life in ways you can’t imagine!
We are all a work in progress and when this reality sinks in; it will change your life. You have the power to overcome the fat; where ever it is. For me; it was showing up on places I had no idea even existed! Seriously; do you have elbow fat? What is that? While it was a long journey to not be mastered by fat I am excited to share with you that I can walk by a table full of desserts and not even be tempted. And guess what? You can too!
You can do it; I know you can. It only takes you making the choice to forgive yourself so that you are free to reign supreme in your life. Make today the day the day that you are the master of you and that no brownie or cupcake with fat controls you. After all; that’s the best treat you deserve that won’t settle on your waistline.
Sure we hear all the messages about people who forgave and how strong they are; but this takes the cake. Yesterday it was released that a woman in Ohio’s medical records were posted on Facebook. Now not just any medical records. Nope. Her STD diagnosis was posted to facebook by Cincinnati’s UC Medical Center for the world to see.
An image of the diagnosis of was included in the post and as a result the woman is suing. The lawsuit claims employees at the University of Cincinnati Medical Center posted the woman’s syphilis diagnosis, which included personal identifying information, on a page for the closed group “Team No Hoes,” reports reveal. The posting included derogatory comments about the woman, calling her a “hoe” and a “slut,” her attorney said.
The group that it was posted to has over 2,000 people in it that now know all her personal business.
The question is: could you forgive? Could you forgive the hospital for blabbing your STD? Could you forgive Facebook for allowing it to be posted? Could you forgive the person who gave you the STD in the first place? Could you forgive the people who have judged you all the while keeping their own STD’s quiet? Could you forgive yourself for trusting the doctors in the first place? Could you forgive the employee who deemed you invisible and unworthy and thought nothing of ruining your life?
Could you? Perhaps after you get a cool check for 10 million? But even then would you ever be able to forgive?
You’ve probably been there at some point in your life. It’s a dating jungle out there and a dog eat dog world. In dating; it’s even trickier and dating is big business. If you are one who has ever done it then you know has exasperating it can be.
Dating is supposed to be great fun; so many so. Is it? There are so many things that come with it and for many women it’s the not knowing that is the biggest issue. The not knowing what ‘I’ll call you’ actually means. In today’s world does it actually mean anything or is it just a simple means of getting away from the situation? One never knows. If you are one who holds on to believing that when he says he will call and doesn’t; forgive. He’s just calling someone else so get yourself ready for the one who will be calling you.
There is nothing worse for women to wonder ‘is he going to call? He said he would. When is he going to call? Why isn’t he calling? Did he lose my number? Perhaps he lost his phone. Maybe I should call him to make sure he’s ok. maybe I should facebook him’ And on it goes to the point of insanity.
The thing is; he will call if he wants to. Your value does not change based upon someone does or does not call you.You are a woman of value and have too much going on to be sidetracked by something like this. If he said he would call and he doesn’t; forgive him. I say this because the time you would ultimately spend wondering about what you did or didn’t do; wish you could go back and do different, and all the things wrong with you is a distraction. When you simply make the choice to forgive him for not calling; and even for being an idiot for not seeing how wonderful you truly you are free. You are free from wonder. You are free to move about your day and life without any worry or wonder. You are simply free to be.
You may have to walk through something you wouldn’t probably choose to walk through on purpose but it’s life. It’s a journey and the good news is that if he calls you will know and if he doesn’t you will know that too. The best part is that you won’t have lost your joy giving it any more time than necessary because your forgiveness means you are ready for the one who will step up and call.
Forgiveness is like nothing else in the world. It gives and spreads like love in paradise. It’s like the high when you have that twinkle in your eye about someone you met and like; and can’t wait to see again. It’s the beauty in life that continues the more you give it. It’s one of those things that until you truly grasp it, hold it, experience and live it- you can’t possibly understand.
I didn’t get it. I didn’t get that high or love until I learned forgiveness. I had no twinkle in my eye but rather a plank, along with many other things that kept me impoverished. It wasn’t until I learned how to forgive that my life was changed and I was free. Forgiveness is many things and in my first episode of ‘Living in Forgiveness’ I talked about what forgiveness is. Today; I share with you the how it gives you power in the easiest of ways.
1- Forgiveness opens your heart. With an open heart you can accomplish anything! The wounds of the past are no longer in control. You are free indeed.
2- Forgiveness opens your eyes. You will be able to see that people are people and they do what they know. What they don’t know is what can hurt the most. What you don’t know can hurt you too. I didn’t know the truth about my biological mother being told by our case worker that if she didn’t sell me to him for 10k he would make sure she never saw me again. Once I learned that; my eyes were opened. I saw for the truth and it’s the truth that makes us free.
3- Forgiveness puts you in the drivers seat. When you forgive you are disallowing any person and his or her burden to have any impact upon you. You have power unlike any other when you make the choice to forgive.
4- Forgiveness gives you peace. It’s a sickening thought when you realize the person who hurt you is living his or her life in joy all the while you are suffering. There is no peace in suffering; only silent turmoil. When you forgive you have peace. Inner peace. Peace to live and peace to be free. There is power in peace that comes from forgiveness.
5- Forgiveness gives you power to love. People who forgive also know how to love. For love is about forgiveness and forgiveness is about love. Love knows and records no wrongs. When you forgive you wash away the wrongs of others as Jesus has done for you.
There is nothing like peace and joy overflowing through the act of forgiveness. It brightens the day like the birds chirping in the trees to a love song. It’s a dance of love displayed between two people destined to be together who have barely just met. It’s a picture of beauty that we all want to capture and live. It’s in the power of a picture perfect moment waiting for you to create. Go now and forgive and live in the power of your act of forgiveness.